vey and oy

I was thinking... maybe I should stop fooling myself and realize that I am never going to be able to accomplish the whole "understated" style thing that I want. I don't think understated is even in my list of (limited) art vocabulary. Maybe I should just make ridiculous art all the time, instead of trying to make it look "good" or realistic, or trying to invent a style that just isn't mine. I'm growing into this new style and aesthetically it is pleasing but then I'm scared that my old style, which I have always hated but am now nostalgic for for some reason, is going to go completely away and I am going to be an illustration-bot. Man I am fickle. I don't know what I want, ever.

I just want to be good at drawing pictures. that's all I need. that and Sleep. which I am currently not getting. so bye.