I can't remember exactly when or what occasion this was, but I think I was in middle school. So I was already a shy, awkward girl in the first place. It was some kind of family gathering that coincided with my aunt Judy's birthday, and since am good friends with Jamie, when she was called to dinner I naturally followed suit. (Usually everything we do as a family, we have to do together.) We walked into a big dining room, where many of my family members were sitting and chatting with one another.
"Come on!" Jamie pulled my arm as she walked over to the table where her mother was sitting, and there were two empty seats. We sat down and started looking over the menu, and I learned that this was Aunt Judy's birthday dinner. I told her happy birthday. We were chatting and giggling like preteen girls do when all the sudden I felt someone behind me.
"Excuse me." It was my Uncle Ross. I saw people at the table look up. "This is Judy's birthday dinner, for her family only (we were second cousins so apparently not considered enough family). You're going to have to leave, I'm sorry." I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I remember my parents being livid and Judy exclaiming "Ross! Don't be Ridiculous."
And I remember most the feeling of being publicly embarrassed by someone who was supposedly family. Judy and others convinced me that it was fine that I stay, and I believe someone forced Ross to apologize to me (really? what kind of grown man has to be forced into apologizing to a young girl for being rude?) but the whole dinner I was uncomfortable. I picked at my food, was extremely self-conscious about everything I was wearing and saying. I felt like an unwanted guest, the one that everyone assures that they want there but afterwards bitches about.
My parents were absolutely livid, and I remember them talking angrily in the hotel room about how Ross is an asshole and he's a cheap bastard and all he ever wanted to do is save a little money (coincidentally, he ended up making everyone split the check for that dinner. Including Judy. On her own birthday dinner.) I think I may have even cried. I was just embarrassed. I was like 12 for Christ's sake!
This still makes me angry, not because of me specifically, because I got over it, but just that people can be so rude and selfish and uptight and not realize that they are hurting other people and need to change. And I get so afraid that I'm going to become one of those people if I don't watch myself.
I don't know why I'm thinking about this, it happened a long time ago, but I guess I still haven't really forgiven him for that for some reason. Subconsciously my opinion of everything he does is given with utter contempt, he will always be the "Cheap Bastard" in my mind. I guess you're impressionable at that age. And he still has yet to prove me wrong, even now that I'm nineteen.
So to finish that first unfinished sentence: When I'm afraid I'm getting too rude and selfish, just think... What would Ross do? And don't do it.
On a happier note, here's another doodle. It's me and my brother :3
and an ADORABLE picture I found of Casey and Lenny.
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