Sculptcha

YET ANOTHER installation..... but lame this time haha. 

hmf

Ugh. I harbor secret love for things like this: 

hahaha, burlesque dancers. 

want?

Oh I think I am in love with this website. want.

stop staring!

want this dress so bad. 

Sculptural forms.....

is slightly taking over my life... or just sculptures in general. Funny that that's the direction things have taken. 

I made this installation, It's my first one I think. It came out a lot more creepy and violent than I expected. But then again,  a lot of my work turns out to be creepy, sexual, violent, or a mix of the three. 

Oh wait, I lied, it's not my first one, that was the weird knitting thing me and Natalie made for drawing. I'll post pictures of that when she sends them to me. They turned out pretty cool.... more all-nighters for that woo. 

also: here's this gem I found on modelmayhem the other day. 

ugh

cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche cliche

WHATEVER 

3 more weeks. 

adsf

Latex arms, latex arms

Everything is good. Awesome even. So why do I still feel like a wreck??

Hello (H)elements. 

I

No, I think I'll sit in Doris and freak myself out more instead. 

I can't decide if I hate myself for being too selfish or too shallow. maybe one just leads to another. Maybe I don't know anything because I don't to take myself or anything seriously. If I got thrown out into society right now and had to take care of myself, I'd be like a monkey with a typewriter. I feel like my whole life is like a monkey with a typewriter already, actually. So much banging around, no actual substance getting through.

whine, whine, whine, me, me, me, that's what I'm afraid people are thinking when they talk to me. I don't know how to deal with other people. 

blarg.

I am at Workstudy again. Falling asleep in my chair. I had to give a tour. And pretend like I know stuff about stuff. And I don't know shit about shit. 

I feel like whenever I slow down and stop to think about stuff my life becomes an emotional crisis about nothing. I feel like I live so caught up in everything that I can never really experience anything. That doesn't make sense at all. Because I am so uncomfortable with myself, It often feels like it's not me experiencing my own life, I'm a stranger looking in. 

I pass off all my emotions off as fake or stupid. It's just force of habit. If I'm upset about something, I will convince myself that I'm being ridiculous and it's not a big deal at all, and then I will be upset because I feel frivolous and stupid. Or that I'm manufacturing angst in order to feel self-important. Because I'm secretly scared that I don't care about anything. 

I remember my internal conflict about Oleanna - I watched a woman get beat up on screen by a male teacher, and It didn't change my opinion about the play. I still hated her, and I didn't even feel a twinge of sympathy for her. I was like, maybe my emotions are broken. Maybe they are - somedays I'm like an impenetrable shield, I don't care about anything, then some days everything is a huge upset and I cry about everything like a retard. 

It's a vicious cycle - as I write this, I am thinking to myself - Mollie, this is stupid, you don't really feel this, you just want an excuse to feel upset, you're fucking fine, stop bitching. 

And then I just totally freak myself out. like right now. 

which is why this post is going to end. 

and I am going to leave Workstudy and do homework to occupy myself. Cause I'm awesome at putting things in the back of my mind and forgetting about them!