Teh Googlez

Dr. Google really does make everything better. Don't know what you're talking about? Google it. I can tell you to Google as many things as I want because it's not trademarked as a verb. Google that.

I have noticed my growing reliance on Google in all situations, which comes as an added bonus to having a smartphone addiction, I think.

Don't know how to get to Midtown? Google it (you've been there a thousand times, you should know by now. Also, somehow NO ONE ON THE INTERNET KNOWS THE HOURS.)

Don't know how to tell if a mango is ripe? Google it (It's comparable to feeling out the ripeness of a peach or pear).

Don't know if you should drink alcohol with your specific antibiotic? Google it (You probably shouldn't).

Paranoid about mixing certain cold medicines even though the doctor told you you could? Google it anyway (it's safe to take ibuprophen, acetaphetamines, and suphedrine together as long as each one doesn't have any traces of the other).

Don't know what that little hole in the top of your iPhone is next to the headphone jack? Google it (it's a mic, don't stick any foreign objects in it, for christ's sake).

Don't know whether the Indian shooting the star on a Tootsie-pop wrapper rumor is true or not? Google it (either way, still not sending it in).

Don't know what the sudden change in behavior of your beloved pet is all about? Google it (he's probably sick and/or just messed up).

Don't know what magna cum laude means? Google it (for MICA it's 3.75).

Want to know what Denis Leary looks like outside of Suicide Kings - in which he's totally smokin' by the way? Google it (meh).

Don't know how to spot knockoff headphones? Google it (you should have thought about that before you ordered them).

Wondering what Harold Camping's doing after the failed rapture? Google it (returned no juicy results).

Don't know what a D&C is? Google it (really wish I hadn't).

Wondering when The Guild season 5 comes out? Google it (NOT SOON ENOUGH DAMMIT).

Your iPhone thinks it's connected to a mystery accessory and drives you up the wall by turning itself on every thirty seconds? Goooooooggggggglllleeeeeeee iiiiittttttt.

(you got water in the connector, you dum dum)

see? SO MANY ANSWERS. Answers to everything I could ever want.