So today.. let me preface this story by saying that it was not cold temperature-wise, but the wind-chill factor made it FREEZING.
So there was this kid sitting on the light rail wearing only a tee-shirt. The guy behind him, this skinny, wiry-looking white guy (who is listening to loud rap music on his cell phone speaker), starts picking on him for not wearing enough clothes.
"Hey man, didn't you bother to check the weather before going out of your house? It's a little cold for that, don't you think?" Etc.
The guy sitting across from him takes a break from putting his black hoodie over his face and staring creepily at me and proceeds to ream him out for talking so rudely.
"Don't be a dick, why you gotta be a dick, leave him alone, if he was my son I would kick your ass," etcetera.
Jess and I just look at each other, trying really hard not to laugh. They keep up this pathetic fight in slurred, inarticulate sentences while the poor kid sits in between them, obviously really uncomfortable.
"I wasn't being a dick, was I?" the guy asks.
"No, but leave me out of it." The kid responds.
Black hoodie guy gets off in Mount Washington, and as soon as he leaves the train, the first guy starts waxing poetic about how black hoodie guy was lucky that he "caught him on a good day, in a good mood, otherwise he'd beat him up with a knife, he wouldn't even make it off the train."
True gems such as: "Spoken by a true addict, junkie mu'fucker. Junkie mu'fuckers like him, I'm glad they're junkies, let 'em all fuckin' die, they're all fuckin' bitches, the world don't need no more bitches, they just suck the system dry until it's gone."
He then leaves his seat and walks into the empty front of the car, where he grabs the standing bars and proceeds to do pull-ups furiously while still yelling about the "Addict mu'fucker, who is he to tell me what to do, he's lucky I'm in a good mood, he's real lucky."
He continues to shout furiously about junkie mu'fuckers at this poor sweaterless kid and stomp around until he gets off at his stop. As soon as he leaves, Jess Sam and I burst into laughter. Too funny.
And then, as soon as we think the shenanigans are over, a voice comes on the PA system and tells us, "Because the trains are so behind schedule, we have to ask you to get off this train and wait for the next car." So we are thrust back out into the blasting cold wind for another 10 minutes, shivering and huddling for warmth. (and using Sam as a wind breaker!)
And then there was a coke bottle full of frothy piss rolling around on the car floor of the next train.
ALWAYS GOOD TIMES ON THE LIGHT RAIL!