Bass-ackwards: intertubes

Showing posts with label intertubes. Show all posts

Monday, February 21, 2011

Silly Ad Dump

Oh yes, it's that time again...... for SILLY ADS. Silly ads are silly.

My credit score is.... :<

Who love Auto Insurance? This guy!!!

YEAH!!! Wait... what?

OH thank god! Lola wants to be my friend!!!

Meh.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Plus Plus Plus...

I have something I have to get off my chest. (ha-ha)

I really can't decide if I like or resent this sort-of trend of 'Plus-size" models in magazines right now. On one hand, I am enjoying that they are showing more realistic-looking women, but labeling them "plus-sizes" when they are size 12s (and the average size of an American woman is 14) is pretty depressing. Also, the fact that magazines are all patting themselves on the back and pretty much saying "look! we have token fat girls! We're inclusive!!! Buy our magazine!!!" and the fact that they usually oversexualize the 'plus-size' models, putting them in lingerie and see-through things and having them pose naked also bothers me. The focus is so much on the actual body, all the "fat rolls" and other such "anomalies" that they seem to have forgotten that they're actually modeling clothes or other products. They even sometimes pose the models and direct the lighting so that it emphasizes their curves even more, trying to prove their self-promoting point. Crystal Renn puts it plainly:

""When designers and editors choose one fat girl to salivate over, and revel in her avoirdupois, I'm not sure how much it advances the cause of using girls of all sizes in a magazine,"

I think there's something really poignant in the fact that when Glamour posted the picture of the model sans-photoshop, with a little bit of (gasp!) belly-pooch and (gasp!!!!!!) meat on her thighs, the letters from women were overwhelmingly happy that finally someone showed a picture that was a realistic depiction of what a woman actually looks like.

My psychic powers are telling me that any negative notes sent in were all probably from (you guessed it) men. They complain that things like this are "glorifying obesity" and "not warning people of the health dangers of obesity" and other such bla-dee-bla-bla. Hysteria about obesity as if we're talking about Rosalie-fuckin'-Bradford here. Finding newer, ~~not so~~ sneakier ways to needle women about their weight guilt-free. You know, that's really rich, considering that the current fashion situation is glorifying dangerously skinny models that whittle themselves down until they collapse and die on the freakin' runway. So, they can take that and shove it up their asses, basically.

I try to think all this 'plus size' model stuff out, weight the positives against the negatives, but the one thing that my mind keeps going to is: 12 is plus size??!! are you serious?!? My pant size is 12+ and I do NOT, under any circumstances, consider myself plus-size, nor will I let a magazine and a ridiculous fashion industry tell me so. I want to be glad that there's media attention about normal-sized girls, but my mind keeps telling me that I'm slightly offended.

It's hard to put a finger on what I find offensive about all this hullabaloo.... The only way to describe it is: It's like, even though the magazines are being all "inclusive" or "diverse" or whatever they want to call it, it still feels like one giant backhanded compliment. Like, "we love you even though you're fat." As if after every punchy, glittery headline stating "plus size," or "diverse body types" or any other name for it, there's a little needling fashionista voice afterwards going "fat!" "fat!" "fat!" We love plus size ("fat!") models! This model is beautiful ("even though she's fat fat fat!") You get what I mean. Ugh. I think, seeing as the average american lady is a size 14, we shouldn't have to endure the indignity of being called a "diverse body type." Diverse? I'd say a size 00, 0 or 1 pant size is pretty freakin' diverse. How many people have you personally met who are a size 00? Right.

Well... on that note, if you couldn't tell, I am currently obsessed with: Crystal Renn

Here's a photoshoot with a ~~skinny twit~~ "straight-size model"

notice how Crystal Renn looks 100% hotter than the skinny girl in every single one. Hehe.

Also: I am in love with this Swimsuit Photoshoot.

Although I am aware that this looks like a pretty much direct rip-off of Rineke Dijkstra's Beach series:

No matter.

Uh oh, I'm being all FEMINIST again.. oops (that one's for you elle, heehee)

Then again, maybe I should stop tooling around on Jezebel and get to work.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

However.. Steering away from the negative.. here are some fun things (time-wasters) to read or watch that actually require brain cells to look at! (actually, not really. But I find then interesting and/or funny.)

Discover - Bad astronomy

My Very Worst Date

My Very Worst Roommate

Sarah Haskins in Target Women (best videoblog possibly ever)

Can't ever resist Oddee. So... many... lists... it's kind of like cracked.com - also very addictive

The fashion police. Because it's me. Shush.

Momversation - I think this is fascinating. Because I'm weird.

ALSO: caitlin showed me this HILARIOUS video. sooo gooodd hhahaha

I haven't written on this thing for a while.

Let's get this straight. Baltimore and I are in a rather rocky relationship. But California and I are also in a little bit of a rocky situation too.

I love California. I love being in California. I love looking and driving in California and seeing the mountains, and the palm trees and the beaches. Too bad the only person I really want to see is all the way on the other side of the country (what feels like the whole planet).

Woe is me.

TOO much lol?

I was lounging around in my room earlier this afternoon, and a question popped into my head: How many lolblogs do you think there are on the internet (interwebz, intertubez)? I decided I would try to find all the lol-type blogs on the interwebz.

Well, after researching a little, I have lost quite a few braincells and found a mind-boggling amount of lols, lolz, lulz, lals, and lawls. Dere iz soooo much stufz on da intewebzz its awesum!!!! I cud just sit heere all dai!!! and git marbidly obeese!!!! but at leest de katz, goggies, hawses, carz, celebriteez, politikz, kakez, tatooz, googlez, GRAPHZ,SIGNZ,BABIEZ,FOODZ,ANIMALZ,COMIX,WEDDINGZ, r funni!!!!!! U mite sai Hee-laryus!!!

Without further ado:

lolcats.com, of course, or icanhazcheezburger.com

loldogs, too

lolcelebrities? roflrazzi (barf)

lol.. ..uh... political news? and an impostor (loliticz? really?)

lolsports

lol famous art (i know)

lolcars

average cats (um..)

and then this spawned the zillions and squillions of "doesn't-say-lol-but-lol-is-implied" (and usually sans-obnoxious misspelled words in Impact) websites. Usually has something to do with "fail" or "win" or "epic fail" or "epic win" or "super epic fail win" or "for the win" "fin eail win fail super epic win epic fail win" or "AAAAGGGHHHH" (or maybe that's just me)

for instance:

the ever-present failblog

and people of walmart

"unecessary" "quotes"

Fark (weird and quotable news?) or Probably Bad News

why the fuck do you have a kid

passive aggressive notes

This is why you're fat

This is Photobomb.

There, I fixed it (epic kludges)

Photoshop Disasters

Cake wrecks (terrible cakes)

Terrible tattoos

God hates protesters (one of my personal favorites)

regretsy (definitely one of my favorites)

Google lolz or autocomplete me

pwned on camera (still kind of a mystery to as what this is really about.. hawtness?)

Very demotivational posters

Emails from crazy people (ok.. I love this one, I admit it)

not as described (lol ads apparently)

of course, the epic win

Graph jam - although those are actually pretty funny.

lovely findings in real estate listings (oddly specific?)

poorly dressed (photos of ugly people and ugly clothes.... wow, that's original.)

Engrish funny (as if there isn't already an engrish.com...?)

Wedinator ("funny" weddings)

Comixed ("funny" comics from popular photos)

Crazy things parents say or My dad is a fob or my mom is a fob

Can't forget... My first fail for baby exploitation at it's finest

Acting like animals (animals..... acting like animals.)

Babysaur (still don't really know what this thing's about.. didn't care enough to read it)

Daily Squee (Allison's #1 fave website of course other than cuteoverload.com )

Epicute.. the cute food blog. I am pretty sure there is a cute "everything" by now.

Totally looks like - funny look-alikes

Nostalgia - also known as "once upon a win" -sob- goodbye childhood...

Om Nom Nom Nom ....dotcom

Stuff White People Like

Awkward Family Photos.... how could I forget this one!

aaand... Sketchy Santas!

I think if i ever heard anyone actually say the word "squee" I might implode.

And then...... can't forget the ones where you can read little minutiae about people's lives!!!!!!!!

fmylife

lmylife (try and guess what that one is)

My life is desi (??)

My life is so many things.......

it made my day (little moments of win - ugh-)

makes me think

average wizards (huh??)

the customer is not always right

texts from last night

and of course....

the most terrifying of them all......

my life is twilight

and then I went Hughhhh! Arrghhhh! BlrarhaghhhHHhhHblubglubkjadfh

and then I drowned in blogs and had to stop cause I started feeling a little nauseous. I also started feeling like this guy:

ick. I also came upon this site of terrifying internet memes (mostly from 4chan, of course, that SUPER EVIL internet hate machine full of super-hackers on steroids.)

However, if you clicked on all those blogs, I feel sorry for you - I mean - cough - good going. And if you're seduced by all the lulz, there's always the lolMart. The list is to be continued when I recover from my lolventures.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Some things from around the interwebs....

America's 25 Douchiest Colleges.

CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?

Liz just reawakened my hatred for Linkin Park.

and... this is HILARIOUS!!!! "literal version" of possibly the cheesiest music video ever made.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Gosh.. You'd think all I'm getting paid to do at work is sit and fart around on my blog... cough

as opposed to farting around on the internet looking for tree facts.

Ran into this when I was on the LA Times Website... Is Transformers 2 Racist??

I mean... I agree with the "Little Black Sambots" and the "ENTIRE female gender" thing, that was pretty ridiculous I must say. Call me a Feminist but come on... that entire movie was basically a tribute to Megan Fox showing off her ass and making her trademark Acting Faces. (For Instance - "I am Acting Very Sad Right Now" or "I am Acting Very Angry Right Now" or "I am Full of Heart-Rendering Emotion Right Now" or "I am Acting Please Fuck Me Right Now" faces). And... there were those two robots who were the Black robots with monkey faces, gold teeth, illiteracy and bad grammar who basically beat each other up and called each other names the whole time and acted stoned (if robots could get stoned). The only thing that was missing from that fun little stereotype was them wearing baggy pants and calling each other nigga. Although if the producers could have used that word I'm sure they would.

also:
I keep forgetting that it's ACTUALLY 1962 in America still. Sheesh. I mean come on, we can't have those got-dang commie Cubans trying to convert our fine, upstanding citizens, or even worse, gasp! inhabit our fine United States.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Lol.

Hahaha.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Alphacat

The spoof of T.I - Whatever you like is probably the best.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Youtubefest!

In case I hadn't showed this to anybody yet....... hahaha Jon Lajoie is a funny boy. I just love all the comments on youtube that are like "this is sooooo sexist and disgusting!!"

bahaha.

Show Me Your Genitals 1

aaaaaand

Show Me Your Genitals 2

he he he.

And to scar your retinas forever and ever... THIS!!!!