I had another vivid dream last night. I dreamt I had another baby. It came as a semi-surprise to me because I had sort of forgotten that I was pregnant because I barely showed or had any symptoms or anything. In my dream I was seeing some guy, but I was desperately not over Elle. So I had the baby - someone (I think it was my mother) laid on top of me to help push it out. It didn't hurt, but I could feel it coming out of there, and I was physically pushing really hard. Then someone cut the umbilical cord with a pair of scissors but it was connected to my bellybutton as well as the baby's so it just laid there on my stomach (TMI, I know.)

well, I guess my boyfriend forgot that was going to happen, or I forgot to tell him, but I was pretty sure I remembered to tell him. But I staggered to the doorway with my newborn baby in my hands, and he looked up, a look of shock and disgust and betrayal on his face. I was standing there in the doorway desperately sobbing, and he grabbed some of his things and left and wouldn't talk to me. I was freaking out and sobbing and wondering what I was going to do with this baby because I couldn't keep it because I was too young and part of me wanted to keep it but most of me wanted to give it away. Someone took me to the adoption agency room but I hesitated, couldn't do it outright, had to think it out in my head some more.

So I went to go find Elle. She was in her room, and I was so happy and relieved to see her, and she helped me with the baby situation. She was talking to her residents, and when I came in holding a baby her eyes got all wide and she politely excused herself and told her residents to leave. I can't remember exactly what happened. But we were back together and that was the happiest I was in the entire dream.

It was really sad. Most of the dream consisted of me crying. Really hard, saying I am too young to take care of a baby. I woke up and was still residual sad.

aDonai

Heheeeeeeeee. I just dreamt my Jewish friend couldn't eat anything at the cafeteria because it wasn't kosher, so he got an alternative called "Donai Dollars" instead of "Dining Dollars."

Then I woke up and Elle was sitting next to me, and I said "Can he really do that??????"
and she said "huh??"

Silly. It's interesting when you confuse dreams with reality.

Furies

I had another very strange dream last night.

The first part was me and a group of friends being the sneaky tea society and going around and setting the whole thing up (it involved booths and signs) and surprising everyone. Like they would all get all sad because they thought that it wasn't happening then they would discover it and be happy.

But that's not the important part.

In the later part of my dream, I was approached by a girl I know (who is one of the sunniest people I know) with plans to kill herself. She looked so sad and defeated as she pulled out her plans for suicide (she made a plan with reference photos and everything). She convinced her friends to do it with her, and their plan was to commit some kind of ritual suicide (I can't remember exactly how) while acting as the Fates or the Furies (I can't remember which one, but they both seem pretty relevant). She showed me photos of girls dressed up in fancy, goddess-like outfits against a swirled gold background. The dresses were floaty and dark colors - generally dark blue and green with slightly lighter looping circles and they wore gold belts around their waists. They sat faced away from the camera, towards the wall behind them, their legs out daintily and their hands resting on their knees. It was just so weird that her plans for suicide were so dramatic and elegant. And that she convinced to friends to do it with her.

So I had to talk her out of it. I don't remember exactly how I did it, but I managed to somehow with a lot of convincing, then told her to go home and relax and take the day off from work, and that I could cover her.

Then Elle came up to me and was like "Where is she going?"

And I Replied, still shaken, I sent her home to relax because she told me she was going to kill herself."

and she replied with a knowledgeable nod and look. "That poor girl," she said.

It was strange and pretty sad.

wacked dreams.

I had another really strange, vivid dream last night. I don't remember much, it is kind of hazy now... but:

the first part involved climbing small mountains. In the dream I was excited and exhilarated when I reached the top. I don't remember what the goal was though.

the second part involved hiking in lush, green forests. There was some kind of machine device that would take you to whatever forest scene you wanted.. and there were rows and rows of square photos of beautiful forests with lush green plants and crystal clear lakes. Really picturesque forests, the kind you want to spend all your time in.

The last part of the dream found me at a summer camp. My campers were aged 12-13 years old. There were these two campers, 12-year old girls who were inseparable friends. One was blonde and thin and the other was dark-haired. Something was "off" about the blonde one, she had a very blank, wide-eyed stare and tiny mouth that made her look sort of like a zombie.

While looking around one time, I found a door in a large expanse of white wall that I hadn't known was there. Finding it unlocked, I opened it. To my shock, the blonde girl and the dark haired girl were naked inside, and they both stared at me wide-eyed before sort of backing off into a corner. I looked around the high-ceilinged room, which looked to be an extension of the camp's building. It was dark, and covering the walls was this really creepy shrine to boobs. There were pictures of boobs all over the walls, close-ups, far-away shots, just lots and lots of boobs. Creeped out, I moved farther back into the connected rooms. They were very dark, and hanging from the ceiling of each room was a different costume, hanging horizontally as if there was a limp person hanging in the air. I distinctly remember a jester costume and a witch costume. I realized that they were having some kind of lesbian sex cult going on in there, which involved costumes, which I remember thinking was really fucked up because they were 12 years old. At that point, the blonde girl appeared behind me, and she started trying to seduce me, all the while looking at me with her creepy blank-eyed stare. I started to back away quickly towards the door, and she kept coming towards me, till I finally reached the door and ran out and slammed it behind me.

That's when I woke up.

That was seriously, seriously creepy. I already don't like middle schoolers but... sheesh.

Tommy Decker

I had this sad dream last night where I had a baby.

It wasn't a normal pregnancy, I remember I was just pregnant for 2 weeks and just popped out a baby. There weren't many details concerning that. I felt hesitant but excited, ready to embrace this new challenge. I remember at first it was a normal size baby, I named him Tommy. He was an adorable baby with bright blue eyes and an adorable smile, and I loved him instantly, I have a distinct memory of holding him in my hands and looking at his face. Then, in the rest of the dream, I remember he was shrunken so that he was a tiny baby, something that you could fit in the palm of your hand.

I had a lot of close calls where almost lost him - I left him somewhere, then came back and got him. I remember he was very cute, and he would burrow his tiny face and hands into stuff, and smile up at me. Then, at the end of the dream, I lost him. I left him somewhere, and when I came back I couldn't find him. I scoured my entire room and house looking for him, but I still couldn't find him. I was heartbroken. I went to the restaurant next door and told them to put up ads and call people in a desperate attempt to find him. Finally, some lady called me back, saying that she was so glad that she finally found the birthmother for her baby Tommy Decker. I got excited for a second, but then she said he was three years old, and I knew it couldn't be my baby, so I was sad again.

then I woke up, sad. And it still kind of depresses me to think about it. It's one of those dreams where the person you dream up is so vivid that when you wake up you kind of miss them. That's what it feels like with Tommy.

I have never wanted a baby. I have never liked babies. I have never been able to understand the concept of someone hating babies but only loving her own. But I think I get it now.

a dream like this has to be symbolic for something, right?